All or Nothing Read online

  “Quite sure we would have.” Remmy sighed and nuzzled my neck, his breath tickling my skin. “But hey, it’s not too late. We have all the time in the world now. We can make up for those months we could’ve been together.”

  “I’d love that.” I let my nose graze against Remmy’s, my thumb drawing circles below his ear. He shivered when I brushed my lips against the corner of his mouth and then across his cheek.

  “Me too,” he whispered, sucking his lower lip into his mouth when I caught his eyes. I practically lit up inside when he gave me an I’m-all-yours smile. If only he knew his smiles already meant the world to me.

  “Shower?” I asked and Remmy shook his head, whispering, “In the morning.”

  “It is morning, Rem,” I teased, nipping his chin.

  Remmy groaned, said, “Morning morning. Please?”

  His mouth sought mine, lips touching and instantly our tongues met and tangled. Remmy tasted so sweet, his skin so hot—the overwhelming sensations, the scary amount of emotions stole my breath, and I trembled, overloaded by the intensity of this moment. We had an unspoken agreement to make the most of the night, so we did.

  ♥

  Chapter Nine

  Remmy

  The first time I woke was to a strange silence and heavy snowfall with its pale, washed light peeking into the room, neither of us having drawn the paper-thin curtains the night before. From the darkness surrounding us, I figured it was still early in the morning. With a sigh, I burrowed back under the heavy blanket and snaked an arm around Carter, who was curled into a ball to my left. I fought sleep for a while so I could lie there and watch Carter for long, long minutes—every breath, every twitch and every rise and fall of his chest—while I was creating a mental scrapbook—a memento of all of these tiny little things that made my heart beat faster.

  The second time I opened my eyes I found Carter watching me from the other side of the room, phone in one hand and a wet towel in the other. He looked absolutely edible in those tight, black boxer briefs and a dark-green flannel shirt unbuttoned over a white tee. His blond hair hung damp and wild, and he had a sleepy smile on his pink lips.

  “What time is it?” I asked. “I’m surprised I slept through you getting out of bed and showering.” How come the noise hadn’t woken me? I was usually such a light sleeper, the smallest sound rousing me. A running shower in this tiny room should’ve been too loud to ignore. Interesting. Maybe I needed more Carter-filled hours each day to get a proper night's sleep.

  Carter chuckled. “You were out like a light and slept like the dead.” He crossed the room, dove onto the bed and scooped me up in his arms, tipping my head to the side so he could rain kisses down my throat. I loved every second of his lips on my skin. I’d let him maneuver and position me however he wanted, whenever he wanted.

  “Good morning,” Carter whispered, and I was astounded at how he wasn’t holding back at all. Weren’t “mornings after” supposed to be weird and awkward? The few I’d experienced had been hella awkward in the past. I certainly liked how he knew what he wanted, and apparently I was part of it.

  Another deep kiss and his mouth left a long, tingling impression on my lips. Finally I managed a “Hi, good morning” back. Carter paused, one side of his mouth lifted in a half smile, and in the brief silence, I sat up and grinned wide. “So,” I said, “that happened.”

  Carter laughed and kissed my nose. “Guess it did.”

  “Wow. Who would’ve thought.” I mused, taking in the sight in front of me. Carter McCormack, half dressed, wet-haired, and in bed with me. I shook my head.

  Carter leaned back and sat on his heels. “Tell me what you’re thinking, Remmy.” He rested his hands flat on his naked thighs.

  How should I put this? “I’m thinking holy shit, last night was crazy good and how did I get so lucky?”

  Carter took in a deep breath. Held it. “You’re not wishing last night didn’t happen?” He said in a rush, and I had to laugh at his expression.

  “Are you joking?” I reached for Carter, and wrapping my fingers around both his arms, I dragged him back down until he settled on top of me, and his knees pushed my legs apart. “I’m beyond thrilled to be where I am right now, can’t you tell?” I wriggled my butt on the bouncy mattress, bringing a smile to Carter’s lips. Lifting my head, I kissed him.

  From where I lay, I could steal glimpses through the window. The world outside was muffled and swathed in plump white billows of snow. It was easy to imagine we were away on some fancy winter vacation, one I wished would never end. The scenery didn’t hold my fascination for long though; quickly, all I could think about was the man holding me tenderly, nuzzling into my neck.

  “Good, because I’m beyond thrilled to be here with you too.” His breath was hot against my skin, his cheeks cold where they brushed mine, and I shivered.

  “I could get used to waking up like this,” I murmured and pulled him closer. Lifting my legs, I parted them farther to enclose him, holding his hips securely between my thighs. Carter adjusted his position and pushed me deeper into the pile of pillows. His lips were on my throat again, soft and with intent, and I wanted Carter to keep me in his arms and make me his with his touches and kisses alone, again, and again, so, so badly. Last night had been a dream come true, and so much more.

  With slow movements, I explored his face in the way he had explored mine only hours ago, brushing the hair out of his eyes, kissing his cheek, and trailing my tongue down the sexy column of his throat. I nibbled lightly until he trembled and quiet whimpers left his lips in a rush. My fingers slid under the leather necklace, and he arched his back as I sucked marks into his perfect skin.

  Our noses touched; then his lips covered mine. Withdrawing with a racing heart, I said, “You’ll come home with me, right?” I gave Carter a hopeful smile. “Say you’ll stay for Christmas.”

  “I don’t think I should—”

  “You can’t possibly drive back to Allentown in this weather. What if there’s another blizzard?”

  His hand covered mine as if to soften the blow he was about to give me. “I could keep this hotel room until it’s safe again to drive a longer distance.”

  I didn’t understand the sudden change in his demeanor. What was he so afraid of? Didn’t he want to spend more time with me?

  “Then what? You’ll head back to campus? No way. That’s lonely and a hotel room is an unnecessary waste of money.”

  When Carter stayed silent, I went in for the kill. “Don’t you want to? I know we haven’t been super close or anything but I’d like us to be, and I’d hoped after last night…” I turned away. I couldn’t meet Carter’s eyes, knowing I was embarrassingly easy to read. If he didn’t want to explore our newfound friendship then at least he should tell me now, before I fall harder for the guy.

  “No.” Carter leaned in close enough to make my heart beat double-time. He caressed my cheek and gently turned my face so I would look at him. “That’s not it at all, Remmy. I would really like to meet your family, and I appreciate the invitation, I really do. This is all very sudden and unexpected—

  “Then join us, please.” I grabbed both of his hands and pulled them against my chest. “There isn’t a valid reason not to. My parents don’t bite and I’ll tell the kids to leave you alone.” Deciding to go with some humor, I added, “Dude, I’ll treat you to great food and even better company. Seriously, how can you say no?”

  Carter’s lips quirked up. “You drive a hard bargain, mister.”

  “I knew the promise of a full stomach would sway you.” A stone was lifted from my shoulders when Carter’s expression softened, the crease between his eyes smoothed out, and I received another kiss in response. Maybe I’d already won him over, but just in case…

  I nibbled his lower lip, then said, “You know, we have a lot of silly traditions. The weirdest is probably our annual dinner at Waffle House. On Christmas.”

  “Waffle House?” Carter sounded somewhere between amused and disbel
ieving. I got it, the chain restaurant likely wasn’t anyone’s first choice for a holiday meal.

  “Yeah, silly right? Mom always says it’s one of the few places open on Christmas and makes for a low-stress, budget-friendly meal.” I lifted a shoulder in a shrug, which was awkward, considering I was lying in bed and had a lap full of a smiling Carter. I grinned at his handsome, slightly flushed face. “Because nothing says celebration like pancakes and maple syrup.”

  Although Carter’s wistful expression told me he found the invitation appealing, he still shook his head. “Thank you, but I shouldn’t intrude on your Christmas. It’s a family holiday after all.”

  “Don’t be stupid.” Nope. I didn’t want to hear it. “You won’t be intruding! I’m serious, I swear. We’ll binge watch awful Christmas movies, eat cheddar cheese popcorn, and play board games all week! It’ll be fantastic.” And it would be us, together, and I wanted that.

  Carter slid off my lap and lowered himself, settling next to me. We were quiet for an excruciatingly long moment. Carter didn’t pull away; he reached around my chest and snuggled close. His head came to rest on my shoulder, and his leg wound around mine under the covers.

  “Are you certain? Your parents won’t mind me tagging along and invading your space?” Carter asked and I responded without hesitation.

  “Absolutely. They won’t mind having you over. One extra mouth to feed is nothing in our family; trust me. And I’d love for you to stay for the holidays.”

  Looking down at his face, even from this angle, the longing was clear as day. My heart ached for Carter. For a moment I feared he didn’t want to spend more time with me. Even if we stayed friends and nothing more between us happened, I would’ve wanted him to stay for Christmas. I was sure we would have fun together and Carter wouldn’t have to be alone for the next few weeks until the new semester. His hesitation made sense after what he told me about his past. Carter probably thought he’d be a burden to us. Celebrating with my family might drag up memories he rather not think about, might make him miss his own too much.

  “If you’re sure…” Carter lifted his head to look at me. I nodded eagerly, badly wanting him to accept the invitation. He nipped my nose, and I kissed the beauty mark next to his eyes in response. “Okay, Rem. I’ll come home with you.”

  “Yes. Awesome!” Carter still wasn’t convinced but I beamed at him, feeling like I’d won the lottery. I rolled out of bed to locate my phone, where I put it to charge last night, and fired off a text to Mom, telling her we’d be having a guest. Not a minute later, my phone lit up with an incoming message.

  Grinning, I raced back to bed and jumped on Carter. I poked him in the chest. “Ha. She says they’re already expecting me to bring you along! Told you they’d be happy for you to stay with us.”

  “They are? Wow. That’s awfully nice.” Carter sounded skeptical, like it wasn’t possible for someone else’s family to want him around when his own aunt and uncle didn’t give two shits about him. Then, I pulled him down and once more surrendered to his lips as we kissed again, and again. Long and sweet and we ended up a while longer in bed, not ready to be apart just yet.

  Last night, when Mom called, I’d rushed through an explanation of what had happened, told her a little about Carter and how Cody couldn’t leave campus because he’d gotten sick. There was no reason to pretend things had gone as planned when everything had practically gone to shit. Being stuck in a snowstorm and unreachable for my family hadn’t helped to ease their panic. I was out of time and had to come clean about my almost adventure on Thunder, and so I told her how Carter had stopped me from making a huge mistake and saved me from possibly dying as a snow corpse in a ditch somewhere along the highway.

  The online weather channel promised more snowfall but no dangerous storm for today, so we figured it would be safe to continue our journey after lunch. And this way Carter and I could have a few more hours to ourselves before heading home.

  Home. I’m taking Carter home!

  I couldn’t decide whether I was more excited that Carter was actually into me, or terrified he was about to meet my crazy family before we had enough time to ourselves. There was still so much to learn about each other. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a tiny bit worried.

  But this was Carter McCormack.

  Everyone loved Carter. My family would too.

  ♥

  Chapter Ten

  Carter

  Getting out of bed proved to be a surprisingly—or perhaps unsurprisingly—difficult task. In no time Remmy had discovered my weakest spots, and taking advantage of having me at his mercy was apparently something he enjoyed a great deal. I didn’t mind at all. There had to be worse things than being wrapped around Remmy’s little finger. I found comfort in his embrace and sought out more of his kisses. The day looming ahead of us frightened me a little, and I gladly would’ve hidden away under the covers, in Remmy’s arms. I rather liked pretending the outside world didn’t exist.

  Reluctantly, I untangled myself from Remmy but couldn’t hold back from tickling his side one more time, where the shirt had ridden up. Who could resist that tempting bit of exposed skin? So tan and so soft. He retaliated with another round of kisses, and I had to hold on to his wriggling fingers so he would let me get a word out. “Wait, wait. We should get going soon, Remmy. If you want to shower, you better get to it.”

  “Okay, you’re the boss,” Remmy said, grinning. “Today.” He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head and flung it toward the chair. I spotted a reddish, faint purple mark on a patch of skin below the ribs, and another on his shoulder. I did that. My heart started thumping away behind my ribcage, faster and faster when Remmy stretched and stood, parading his beautiful body around the room. His glowing skin was a light bronze under the cheap hotel light. Shamelessly, I admired him as he strolled into the bathroom buck naked, remembering how warm and soft his body had felt under my lips.

  I finished packing the few things we’d brought while Remmy showered and got ready for the day. Less than ten minutes later, he bounded out of the bathroom, stark naked, and made quick work of throwing on the clothes from yesterday. When a knock sounded at the door he slid into a pair of dark jeans in record time. We shared a look.

  “You didn’t order room service by any chance, did you?” Remmy asked.

  I shook my head, saying, “I don’t think they actually do room service here.”

  Remmy’s hopeful expression fell. Going for the door, he opened it. A tall, tanned man, in his late forties perhaps, moved closer as Remmy stepped aside to let him in. His mouth hung open.

  “Dad! What in the world are you doing here?”

  “What do you think, son? Your mom told me to get you before you decide you’d rather spend Christmas in a hotel than with your family.”

  “She what? I wouldn’t. I talked to her on the phone last night, and we texted earlier,” Remmy sputtered. “She didn’t mention you coming here!”

  Their interactions were amusing. Remmy’s dad was nothing like I’d pictured him. They shared the same dark skin but his dad was taller, bald, and had what people would refer to as a beer belly. I remember Remmy telling me about his dad’s health issues and how he had to quit alcohol and caffeine years ago.

  “Your mom isn’t taking any chances, huh?” I chuckled. I couldn’t help it.

  At the same time his dad spoke, “She was worried you might be hurt and not tell us.” He hugged Remmy. “Boy, what happened to your hair?”

  “My hair? Oh!” Remmy flustered. Had he forgotten all about the dye job? He summoned a cheeky grin for his dad. “Isn’t it cool? Mom will so freak!”

  Remmy’s dad shook his head, like he couldn’t believe what his life had come down to. I noticed they had the same nose and his dad’s forehead crinkled exactly like Remmy’s. “Oh, you got that right. I don’t want to be around when your mother sees this.”

  Then Remmy introduced me to his dad, and we exchanged pleasantries and grabbed our thing
s, then headed downstairs to check out. Remmy promised his dad we would be following him in my car. It was still snowing, but we only had a short distance to go, and it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as last night.

  Remmy fastened his seat belt and fell back against the seat. He groaned. “I can’t believe he did that! Did they think I would not come home? How…” He shook his head. “We’re already this close to home—why would I stay at a hotel?”

  I started up the engine and said, “I think they were worried about the snow getting worse again and then we would miss Christmas after all.”

  “Ha! That’s ridiculous, like my Dad’s car is Kit or something and can get us out of a blizzard.”

  I laughed and reversed out of the parking lot. I spotted Carlos’s white SUV and followed him as promised.

  “Oh well, we’re on our way now.” Remmy glanced at me and our eyes met for a second as I maneuvered the car around a corner. Snow covered the streets and trees and, well, everything. “Oh, hey, I have an idea. Let’s stop at a CVS or Walgreens.”

  “Okay, sure.” I shot Remmy a curious look. Then I smirked at him. “Do you want to get condoms and lube?”

  “What? Dude. Gutterbrain!” Instant flush. “Uh, I might actually have some in my old bedroom…” Remmy’s lips curved at the side, his cheeks glowing red. “But no, I was thinking…We could pick out some small gifts for each other. I mean, I don’t have anything for you since we hadn’t exactly planned on spending Christmas together.”

  “You want to buy me something?” I hadn’t meant to sound so startled, but he caught me by surprise. Two days ago we hadn’t even been friends, and now he wanted to get me a Christmas present?

  “Well, yeah. You’ll have to get me something too.” Remmy shoved my shoulder. “Obviously. And the rules are whatever we choose has to be silly, small, and under ten dollars, because that’s all I’ve got with me.”