All or Nothing Read online

  “Maybe we could skip dinner?” Remmy asked hopefully as we stumbled down the short flight of stairs, our wet sandals squeaking with every step and the noises from the excited pool visitors fading behind us. The hallways were dimly lit and surprisingly quiet. “They probably have room service or something.”

  I laughed. “Not a chance in hell, Rem. I booked this table twelve months ago. We’re not skipping dinner so we can fool around, not tonight.”

  A sigh from my boyfriend. “As you wish.” Remmy’s perfect pout transformed into something that could only be called a saucy grin. “Can I get an under the table blowjob with my clam chowder?”

  “Nope.” Snorting, I shoved Remmy into the, thankfully, nearly empty changing room.

  “Jeez, you’re no fun anymore,” Remmy told me seriously, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The pout was back, and I mentally rolled my eyes at the insane request. I loved Remmy dearly, but even he wasn’t going to talk me into doing something so reckless it could potentially get me behind bars.

  I scolded, “I have no interest in spending the night in a holding cell when we already paid for a hotel room where I can bend you over every single surface and fuck you senseless without worrying about scaring off the neighbors.”

  “Oh, my! You’re such a romantic.” Then Remmy cracked a smile, saying, “You have to admit though, it’d be kinda hot to tell our friends we got kicked out of a fancy restaurant because you couldn’t help yourself and just had to have me right there in the middle of the dinner crowd.”

  Dropping my backpack on the bench next to Remmy, I backed him up against a locker. I reached for him, but instead of touching his cheek, my palm connected with the cold metal behind him. “Dude, I think you meant to say you were so hot for me you couldn’t keep it in your pants for two hours.” And because the room was still silent, I leaned in and kissed the reply from his lips, swallowing it along with his throaty moan. Remmy clutched at me with both hands, and it took a lot of willpower to unglue our mouths and give him back his space.

  With a finger, Remmy traced an invisible line up my neck and along my jaw, staring at me with an expression I’ve quickly come to recognize—dewy eyes, parted lips, heavy breathing, his skin ruddy and glowing. I craved that open display of lust, loving the way it looked on Remmy, even more so knowing it was only for me.

  “Now go change so we can get you fed and in bed before your curfew.”

  “Ha ha, funny guy.”

  And because, apparently, we still needed a reminder that we had to control ourselves in public, I added quietly, “You don’t wanna get caught making out by one of the dads, do you? I’m looking forward to dinner.”

  With a groan, Remmy turned around and opened his locker with the little key held by a waterproof bracelet around his wrist.

  On the way to the restaurant, Remmy asked, “So, do you wanna do more snowboarding and some shopping on our last day, then?”

  “Sure.” I leaned in closer, subconsciously, as if pulled along by a magnet. “Anything you want, love.” I’d watch him get his nails manicured if that was something he wanted to do.

  He licked his lips, and I pressed a soft kiss on his mouth, not caring right then if anyone had a problem with it. Sometimes being out and about with Remmy, being gay and in love kinda sucked donkey balls. Or rather, it sucked how people still had a problem with two guys showing affection in public. It wasn’t fair.

  “Too bad our vacation is almost over,” Remmy said wistfully. I agreed wholeheartedly. This had been the most amazing week of my life.

  We still had a couple of days left though, and for tomorrow afternoon I’d booked us an early appointment at the spa, followed by a brunch date and what the website promised to be a scenic drive through the beautiful Pocono Mountains while visiting vineyards and local breweries in the afternoon, I hoped. After the wine tasting Tamara and her brother Brian had dragged us along on last summer during our trip to California, Remmy had developed a serious thing for wine. It was rather cute and hopefully he’d get a kick out of this tour.

  “Doesn’t have to be our last one,” I said and took Remmy’s hand in mine. We were walking the short distance from the inn, snow crunching under our boots. “Plenty more adventures for us to plan, babe.”

  “You’re right. I can’t wait to explore the world with you!” Remmy beamed at me, swinging our hands between us. The parking area was busy with cars and buses so we stuck to the tourist paths. Despite the noise and Christmas tunes coming from the speakers all around us, it was a peaceful moment in time, one of those random experiences that burn themselves into the mind to be remembered for the rest of our lives.

  “By the way, Mom called earlier to remind us the post-Christmas dinner is in two days,” Remmy told me, grinning. “She’ll probably kill us for real if we’re not gonna make it this time.”

  After that first Christmas I got to spend with Remmy and his big, and also loud, crazy but amazing family, we’d made it a thing. They invited me for the second time this year. I soon learned they didn’t do it out of pity, because I didn’t have family of my own anymore. Remmy’s parents and sisters were the sweetest, welcoming me to their family from the moment Remmy had introduced us. His mother, Donna, still gave the best hugs; his father, Carlos, the best advice; and Remmy’s siblings, Oliver, Rosa, and Alessia reminded me of Tamara and Brian and our friendly banter, the language of a yearlong friendship. I was forever grateful for the reminder of how much love a family was capable of giving.

  “Hopefully, the weather will stay nice and calm like this,” Remmy said, squeezing my hand as the sun went down behind the mountain, bathing the dazzling winter wonderland in hues of orange and pink. “I’m still somewhat traumatized from our first trip home, remember? That blizzard was a nightmare.”

  “As if I could forget that day.” I squeezed his fingers in return and pulled on his hand. Remmy stopped, turned to look at me, and my chest tightened with overflowing affection. I assured him, “Don’t worry, okay? I’m sure it will be fine. We made it every time the last two years.”

  “You’re right.” A gloved hand touched my cheek, and Remmy leaned in to kiss me.

  Then everything happened in a blur. I was a nervous mess, wound too tight to take in and fully enjoy the beautiful candlelight atmosphere of the restaurant, their soft cushioned chairs, the friendly staff, and extraordinary food and wine. If we’d talked about anything, I wouldn’t be able tell you what came up in conversation.

  I frowned at the half-eaten lasagna on my plate. Under the table, Remmy nudged me with his boot. I looked up to find his gaze fixed on me, a worried expression on his handsome face.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, wiping his lips with the red, velvety napkin. The fish on his plate had vanished while I’d been daydreaming, and even all the greens and potatoes he wasn’t so fond of were gone. “You’ve been fidgeting the entire meal.”

  “Yeah, of course.” I cleared my throat. Maybe I should get it over with already. “I might have something I wanted to talk—”

  “You know, we should totally get married here,” Remmy cut me off, waving a hand around the room excitedly. “Isn’t this the most incredible place? Look at those chandeliers. They’re huge.”

  “What?”

  “I mean, wouldn’t that be fabulous? I saw a flyer at the inn, about wedding reservations, for you know, the whole thing. Reception and ceremony. The location is perfect, super romantic and the food is wicked good. I even ate all my greens.”

  “You want to get married?” I knew he did, someday. We’d talked about the topic a couple of times but never in a serious manner, and I doubted he was proposing, was he?

  “Yeah, of course!” Remmy beamed at me with a blinding smile, his lips rosy and beautiful. “You’d look so handsome in a silver suit.” he added in a dreamy voice, leaning forward.

  “What, now?” I asked, realizing how dumb it sounded after the words were out. But seriously, how were we talking about getting married all
of a sudden?

  “What? No, of course not, silly.” Remmy looked thoughtful for a moment, then frowned. “Sorry, I cut you off. I just remembered the bride I saw yesterday and had to mention it before it slipped my mind again.” Remmy blushed, hard. A blue lock of hair fell into his eyes. “What did you wanna talk about?”

  “Oh, well, it’s okay,” I told him and reached for his hand on the table, pulling it closer. “I’d been thinking about the future—” Remmy opened his mouth, and I waved at him. “No, not that far ahead, just, you know, the next couple of years?” I wasn’t ready to consider getting married to anyone yet, not sure how I felt about having this sort of attachment to another human being, legally and emotionally, but deep down I knew already Remmy would be the one person who could make me feel comfortable with the idea of being someone’s husband. One day.

  “Okay.” Remmy looked at me all sweet and innocent.

  “We’re both about to graduate in May, and I’d thought it would be a great time for us, you know,” I sighed, hating myself for being so nervous about this. I didn’t think he wouldn’t want the same; it was irrational fear talking. “I’d hoped we could start living together?”

  “Absolutely.” Remmy squeezed my hand, his blush rising a little, or maybe it was the candlelight flickering between us, casting odd shapes on his face. His recently dyed, blue-and-purple-streaked hair was long enough to tuck behind his ears these days. “I didn’t realize this wasn’t something we’d already agreed on?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, smiling softly. I guess it had come up in conversation before, but I hadn’t been aware of it being decided. It eased my mind that he was so cool about it. “I also wanted to ask how you feel about moving to New York City? With me?”

  “NYC baby!” I loved the way his amber eyes grew wide. “That sure would be an adventure.”

  I bit my lip, fighting down the nerves. “One you’d be willing to go on?”

  “Do you even have to ask?” Remmy gripped my hand tight for a moment and then pulled it toward him, kissing my knuckles. “I’d follow you to Mars if you’d ask. Good thing New York is closer.” He grinned. “And so happens to be one of my favorite cities.”

  We had taken a couple of trips to the Big Apple and both were smitten with the busy city life and variety of, well, everything.

  “I’m glad you feel that way, Rem,” I said, feeling the knot in my stomach loosen. And like that, my nerves settled again. I could breathe better. “You’re still planning on starting your online Master of Social Work program, right?”

  “Yep, nothing’s changed on that front, or else I’d have told you.”

  When a waitress appeared at our table, we both ordered coffee and a slice of chocolate cake to share.

  “So, nothing is keeping you in Allentown, right?”

  “Ah, you were thinking I could finish my online degree from literally anywhere in the world,” Remmy said with a smirk. “Smart boy.”

  “And you don’t want to return home?” If Remmy said yes, I would go with him in a heartbeat. I never was all that ambitious, never had big career dreams or goals. I could find some kind of work anywhere in the world. As long as I’d earn money and had Remmy by my side.

  “I admit, I thought about it. I was waiting for an opportunity to bring it up, see what you wanna do. Being with you is all that matters, honestly. And I’m sure there are more part-time job options, too, in a big city like New York, but what are you gonna do? Have you decided yet?”

  “Most likely applying for a job. Not sure what field exactly, but I have a lot of options with my international studies degree. I’m sure something will catch my eye.” I grimaced. “No more school for me, that’s for sure.” I’d never liked studying, and I barely managed to keep up my grades the past two years. Remmy was so much smarter than me, and he enjoyed studying more than I ever had. The prospect of earning money and creating something amazing with Remmy had me pumped. I was more than ready to leave the college life behind.

  “Then it’s settled? We’re going on an adventure!” Remmy beamed at me from across the table with rosy cheeks and a blinding smile.

  My heart stuttered. I loved him so much it sometimes scared me. “Guess we are,” I said, mirroring his expression.

  I couldn’t wait.

  ♥

  About the Author

  Riina currently resides in Germany. She spent countless exciting days in the UK and US and lost her heart in Tokyo.

  She would be thrilled if one day her stories could brighten someone’s day in the way those beautiful romances always lighten up her dull everyday life. Riina is looking forward to sharing many more stories with the world.

  When she doesn’t daydream about boys in love and isn’t glued to her Kindle, Riina loves to travel the world and explore the unknown.

  Email: [email protected]

  Facebook: www.facebook.com/riinayt

  Twitter: @NoTroyeNoLife

  Website: www.riinayt.wordpress.com

  Other books by this author

  Paradise Lodge

  Also Available from NineStar Press

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